


Here All Along

by otaku579



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: A lot of introspection, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Haruhi is oblivious, Hikaharu, Long Distance Relationships, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, One sided, Tamaki is oblivious, This is really sad, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Angst, but isnt that always the way, but its pretty minor, except its not really, its the OC, one sided except its not, really the only one who isnt oblivious is kyoya, relationships, tamaharu - Freeform, too much thinking, wow im bad at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:35:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25247761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otaku579/pseuds/otaku579
Summary: Tamaki realises what he's missing, only it's far too lateHaruhi loves Tamaki. He gets into a long distance relationship (with an OC who isn't introduced here - she's more a problem than a person). Haruhi starts dating Hikaru to get over him. Once they start to fall for eachother Tamaki comes to his senses. Kyoya's the only one who really knows what's going on here. Everyone's oblivious but him.
Relationships: Fujioka Haruhi/Hitachiin Hikaru, Suoh Tamaki/Original Female Character(s), one sided fujioka haruhi/suoh tamaki
Kudos: 12





	Here All Along

Tamaki Suoh had been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years. Despite the lack of public expectation for _him_ of all people to be in one, his friends had been supportive of this, on the whole. Haruhi had taken the longest to adjust to the news, although she would never make it known. The girl had harboured feelings for the blond for a long time, but having waited for the right moment, she hadn’t had the chance to share them with the boy.

Feeling everyone’s support, Tamaki would share anecdotes from conversations he had had with his love, unknowingly wrenching at the younger teen’s heart with every word. While he had never met this girl, he spoke as if besotted with the ground she stepped upon.

While it took her a time, Haruhi had got over him, pushing herself into a relationship of her own, one neither party were fully invested in. To begin with, that is.

Hikaru was lovely. He was kind to her, exciting to be around and made her feel truly wanted. They announced their relationship excitedly to their friends, Haruhi glancing to Tamaki as they did for any sign that could possibly be conceived as jealousy.

As they drew closer to a year together, the girl began to fall for him in earnest, becoming truly happy together. Nevertheless, she still displayed the performative relationship in front of the rest of the Host Club. After Tamaki had spent the first year of their friendship so protective over her, she hadn’t known how to handle the sudden loss of the blond’s company. But it was far too late for any such sort of introspection now.

It was around the one year mark in Hikaru and Haruhi’s relationship that Tamaki had an epiphany.

The blond felt his heart ache whenever he looked at the pair, but put it down to the desire he felt for his own girlfriend so far away. Flirting with the girls coming into the Host Club was one way to take his mind off things, but it only worked to dull the pain for a time.

He knew the way he had behaved around the brunette had changed. He had backed off more since her relationship with Hikaru had begun; after his initial reaction of how his ‘little girl’ was far too young to be dating, she responded by stating how she was the same age he had been when he began his long distance relationship a year previously. He couldn’t argue with that. Thusly, he let it go, loosening his reins over the younger girl, allowing her to date freely. It really wasn’t any of his business, anyway.

The year passed fairly uneventfully, Tamaki happy in his love, assuming Haruhi to be equally as blissful with Hikaru, completely unaware of the girl’s initial inner struggles when it came to him. At It Haruhi and Hikaru’s one year anniversary, Kyoya organised a party after club activities finished for the day to celebrate with the pair.

Tamaki knew something was wrong when he couldn’t watch them kiss.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t done so after club hours in the past, but this was different somehow. All the attention was on them, the rest of the club weren’t cleaning up the music room, reorganising it for the following day as they would usually; everything was centred on the two.

Tamaki found himself having to excuse himself from the room.

Heart pounding, he ran to the bathroom and locked the cubicle door. Leaning against it, he stared at his hands for what felt like moments, but with the thoughts racing through his mind, the utter confusion he felt, and the deep breathing he found himself having to do, meant it couldn’t be nearly as brief as it felt to the boy.

A text from Kyoya roused him from his thoughts.

_I know this may be hard to get your head round, but not everything is about you. You’re making a scene and it’s not your day. Get your arse back here._

The self-proclaimed ‘Host King’ put his phone away, took a couple more deep breaths, and walked slowly, as calmly as he could muster, back to music room #3.

Hikaru and Kaoru had to hire two drivers that evening. Kaoru wanted to give the pair space, Haruhi taking the initiative and inviting Hikaru back to hers as Ranka agreed to work late so long as they were responsible.

Avoiding the burning stares directed their way stepping out of the limo outside Haruhi’s block, the pair made their way into her flat to finish their anniversary celebrations.

Tamaki made it home deep in thought. What was he thinking, ruining the party like that?! That was his little girl’s special day! What had even motivated him to behave that way?! What did he feel towards Haruhi? He was sure the attitude to Hikaru was just in jest, he didn’t have a sworn vendetta against the ‘evil twin’, that was just jovial due to the nature of the relationship he had with the twins. So what made him feel so choked when he saw them kiss with nothing to distract himself? Was he really still so protective over Haruhi? He knew she had grown a lot the past year, and he had successfully let go of her in that way since the start of _his_ relationship. That’s a point; he hadn’t texted his girlfriend all day. Checking his phone, he saw a myriad of messages from his worried significant other, which he ignored, opting instead to turn off his phone for the time being. Just until he could figure this all out.

Stepping out of his limo, he subconsciously thanked his driver, drifting up the stairs to his room. His schoolbag was flung to one side of the room, his blazer to the other. This was unlike his usually tidy nature, but the blond was too deep in thought to care.

What did he feel towards Haruhi?!

Clothes strewn round the room, Haruhi paused her ministrations with Hikaru to pick up her bleeping phone and put it on do not disturb.   
“Who is it?” came an impatient voice.   
“Tamaki. Unimportant,” came the girl’s reply, before putting it face down on the dresser, and joining her boyfriend on the bed.

The blond threw himself back on the bed and closed his eyes. Even if Haruhi wasn’t replying, at least he had apologised. There was no need to worry that she hadn’t replied. She was with Hikaru. She was fine. There was no need to worry about her. He tried his best to reassure himself, not that it would make any difference.

What was wrong with him?! He had been fine with the couple for an entire year; it wasn’t like this was anything new, so why now? Why was he so suddenly so not okay with their being together? Was it them being together that was the problem? Was it him? Was he jealous? He couldn’t be. Yes, he could from time to time, but never enough to cause a serious problem. Never enough for it to be unresolved by the time he returned home. It was only ever trivial stuff. Actual jealousy, now that was Hikaru’s area of expertise. The very same Hikaru that was currently in the process of deflowering _his_ Haruhi.

Okay what the fuck he had no right thinking about her like that.

He knew something was wrong. But what had come over him?!

He picked up his phone. The text to Haruhi had been delivered over an hour ago and remained unopen. Had he really been so deep in thought for so long?! The boy closed his eyes and thought, deeply. How did he feel towards Haruhi? She was like a daughter to him but maybe, just maybe there was something more there. No. There couldn’t be. But what if there was?

After a while of this, going back and forth in his mind, the boy fell into an uneasy doze.

Staring into instant coffee, he heard a voice speak his name. Looking up he saw the face of his girlfriend.   
“But what are you doing in the Host Club, Mon Cherie?” he asked her. She smiled at him softly, almost sadly.   
“I am not the one you should be addressing as such,” she told him. “You know as well as I where your true affections lie.” She nodded in the direction of Haruhi, sat entertaining some girls.

Tamaki rose to his feet and made his way over to her, all thoughts of his girlfriend abandoned already. He reached her side but found he didn’t know what to say.   
“I’m sorry for the way I acted today,” was what fell out of his mouth.   
“Tamaki…” she replied, seemingly unsure of what to say.

The room changed as he sat beside her, the Host Club having apparently ended for the day, instead just the Hosts themselves stood around the room. He took her chin in his hand and pulled her face gently towards his. It all felt so natural. It struck him that he now was in the same position Hikaru had been earlier that day. As they began to kiss he heard a soft commotion. Pulling away he looked up in time to see (presumably) said twin storm out of the room. While he recognised the hurt in Haruhi’s eyes at this, they went back to kissing. The rest of the Hosts seemed unconcerned at Hikaru’s outburst, yet simultaneously unamused at his display.

Blue eyes snapped open at the sound of a sharp knock on his door.   
“Who is it?” he called out. A maid answered, asking if everything was alright, since he hadn’t been downstairs to ask for his usual cup of instant coffee to drink as he did his homework. He informed her that he would not be doing any homework that night, due to having completed it earlier that week. This was a total lie, not that it mattered. Someone of Tamaki’s popularity never needed to fret where homework was concerned; any girl in attendance of the Host Club would go out of their way to do it for him, if for any reason he couldn’t sweet-talk the professor into ‘forgetting’ to collect it in.

What had that dream been?! What did it mean?! Maybe he did have feelings for the girl.

Tamaki sat up, only at this point realising he was still in his school uniform. His phone buzzed. Picking it up he saw another stream of texts from an increasingly worried girlfriend, and one from Kyoya. He’d been sleeping longer than he thought. He deemed the pair unimportant at that time, opting instead to unlock it to check for Haruhi’s potential response. He felt his heart beat faster at the thought, his Haruhi choosing to talk to him. The image of her face so close to his from his dream flashed back into his mind. He dropped his phone, feeling his face heat up. Picking it up he followed through with his initial intention to check for a reply from the girl. There was none.

Panic welled up inside him. Yes, he did have feelings for the girl.

Dragging a hand over his face, he willed his heart to slow down a little, the drop in his stomach to calm. It was only when his eyes closed that he realised just how much he ached; how turned on he was. When the fuck did that even happen?

With trembling fingers, he opened the photos app on his phone, and started to go through his pictures of Haruhi. Most were of the whole Host Club, with her in school uniform, smiling at the camera. There were others from meet-ups the group had had outside of school, and a scarce few of just Haruhi on her own; she didn’t see the point in him having those.

Before the boy knew what he was doing, he began touching himself, just lightly, through the fabric of his school trousers. It wasn’t fair to think about Haruhi like this. She would be appalled if she knew. But she didn’t have to know.

He let out a soft moan as he freed himself from his trousers. Haruhi didn’t need to know. He looked deep into those deep brown eyes as he touched himself in earnest. He wasn’t hurting anyone. Haruhi wouldn’t find out if he could just keep it to himself. Another notification. He ignored it, putting his phone on his bedside table.

Closing his eyes he could remember that face. The dream. The way she had kissed him. The way she had wanted him.

She kissed him, all down his neck and across his chest. He continued to touch himself to the mental image. Haruhi of Tamaki’s mind giggled, before going further, down his stomach. He drew in a deep breath as she continued down, down to the head of his dick, kissing him there too. He let out a louder groan.

She grinned widely, licking a stripe up his dick, putting the head into her mouth. His head flew back at the mental image alone, stroking himself faster and faster as she took him deep and began to bob her head, hand reaching underneath to hold his balls.

“Haruhi,” he whispered, as the girl continued to suck him off, stopping just before he could finish, arranging herself to sit straddled on top of him.

“Haruhi,” he called again, just as quietly. She sat down on him, taking him deep inside her in a way that would be oh so unrealistic in real life, taking him with such ease, grabbing his wrists and directing his hands to her breasts. Tamaki’s hand groped up to his own chest, although there was nothing there to hold, opting instead to grab the duvet while he continued to touch himself to the inner Haruhi theatre of his mind.

She began to move, riding him, bouncing up and down with a smile while his face contorted with the pleasure he was feeling.

All too soon, it was over. Head throw back, with a sob, he came, embarrassingly fast and whispering her name, all over his unbuttoned school shirt. He only noticed he wasn’t alone when he heard the voice.   
“Oh, Tamaki.” His head shot up in shock only to lock eyes with Kyoya stood in the doorway.   
“Kyoya!” He exclaimed, dismayed.   
“I knew you had it bad, but not _this_ bad.”   
“You knew, what did you knew?!” Tamaki shouted at his friend, frantically pulling his duvet up around himself.   
“Know,” the boy replied. “What did you ‘ _know’_.” Tamaki shook his head in confusion. “And isn’t it obvious? We all knew you had it bad for Haruhi, though you’re decent enough at hiding it,” he announced, as if he wasn’t dropping a bombshell for the blond, who had spent all afternoon trying in vain to figure out what he had just been told.

The boy sat on the edge of Tamaki’s bed.   
“I don’t love Haruhi. I’m in a relationship,” he said through gritted teeth.   
“Maybe not love, but it’s clear you hold a flame for her,” Kyoya declared. Tamaki was about to object but the boy was right; in his current state it was hard to dispute.   
“It’s too late,” he whispered. Kyoya barely heard him but understood how he must be feeling.

The dark haired boy patted Tamaki on the head, unsure of what to say or how to properly express his affection.   
“I am sorry,” he told his friend.

They sat in silence for a period, before Tamaki piped up again.   
“Why _are_ you here?”  
“I texted you. You didn’t reply. So I came.” The blond opened his phone. There were indeed, several texts from Kyoya, asking what he thought he was doing during the post-club activities and why it was inappropriate, before some later ones asking if he truly was alright, and that he understood if Tamaki was going through something, but that it didn’t mean he could storm out on everyone like that. The last read ‘if you don’t respond within the next half hour I will have to assume something is wrong and come over and make sure you’re alright myself.’

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” he told his friend. Kyoya waved his hand as if to say ‘it’s nothing’, apologising in turn for walking in on the blond.

Kyoya left, and Tamaki heaved a sigh. He really didn’t know where to go from here. Returning to his room he saw a text from Haruhi. His heart leapt into his throat.   
‘Don’t worry about it. I still had fun with Hikaru. Hope you’re okay.’

Tamaki put his phone down and curled himself up into a ball. What if he _was_ in love with her?

Haruhi put her phone on charge and went to make dinner for when Ranka got home. Distancing herself from Tamaki had been the only way she had coped, the only way she had managed to get over him. She had no idea he was now in the same position she had been nearly two years prior. Hikaru was a good distraction at first, though she really did like him, even from the start, they were so much closer now. They still hadn’t had sex, but had almost gone there tonight. She could finally say she was over the blond, although if given the chance, who knows, maybe she would still try a relationship with the boy. But that wasn’t an option, and never would be. She was fine with that.

The girl would continue to distance herself from him; no need to be closer than they were now, after all; they were never going to be more than friends, and she had got over him through distance. Better to not let herself have a chance to get closer to him again, and fall for him all over again. This was the mantra she had repeated to herself night after night for the first few months.

Back in the Suoh mansion, Tamaki had dinner brought up to him before crying himself to sleep.

Kyoya got home, slightly troubled but not enough to bother too much thought on the matter; the two were oblivious, that much was certain. His notebook contained detailed notes on their idiocy from the past years, such that he was sure would be read out at their wedding if either of them would take the initiative to remove their head from the sand and actually make a move. Yes, people would be hurt in the crossfire but it didn’t take someone of his IQ to recognise that they were meant to be. The shadow king shook his head and began writing up the day’s notes on his laptop. Oh, the fools he had befriended.


End file.
